Really for Real

So  Ya  I think  I  just  wound  up erasing  what  I  wrote. Why  does  this  happen  ya  I  know I  sound  like  I  am complaing  but  it  is  like the  littlest thing  sets my  illness in  to  motion. Like  last  night  i  spent  money that  I do  not  have  and  I  don't remember  even  doing  it . Some times  I  just  want  to  scream