water spill

well this morning  I  awake  and  staying  awake because It was  cold  water  from my nightstand . i  was  going  wash my  sheets  today  and I  guess My  cat  thought that  she  wanted to do them.


Today  is  going to  be the first  time I  see my  therapist . I  think  that  I  should  bring  to her the stuff  I  have  been writing. I went  from   butterfly   to  caterpillar. also need  to  tell  my college  to  drop me

It is  going to be on of those  days where I  just  want to scream . 

So  yesterday  was  fun. I  got  to  meet  up with  old  friends, However  I  had  a  very  hard time with being  in a public  place. I  had  no  where  to  run  and  hide  and that  is  what I  wanted  to  do. I  am  having  a  hard  time  adjusting  back  to  normal  life  and  I  just  found  out  that  I  have  to  do a new ssd form I  just want  to  say  fuck it.  I know that  this does  not help  much but   I feel like  I am  going  to fall  at any minute.

with  crazy  love
Bipolar115

I'm free

As  some of you  may know  I  just  spent  the  last  week in a  half  in  St. Joe's  BSU.  I  checked my  self  in  and I  packed my own  stuff . That  way when  I need  people  bring  me something  I  already  have  it.

Sorry  I am still getting  used  to  the  meds  I  will post a little  later.

With  Crazy love
Bipolar115

What happens when you don't treat your Bipolar. 
1:Mental pain

2:problems with family,friends and Co-works

3:doing poorly at work or school.

4:Money problems.

5: alcohol and drug abuse

6: death from reckless act of suicide

Great sit

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bipolar-disorder/DS00356/DSECTION=symptoms

What is Bipolar

Bipolar  is  mental illness. it  causes extream mood swings. A person with  Bipolar  has  pireods  of these.

Mania(manic) : This  is a frabtic  high  and they  feel like  then  do anthing.

Depression: A severe low , they have  no inereest  in  doing  things  He  or  she  can  barely  get  a long  from  day  to  day

Normal moods:  those  take  place  between The depression  and the  Mania 

More  info later  on  tonight 

with  crazy  love Bipolar115

Bipolar Movies

So I was wondering if there was any movies about Bipolar and so I put it in to a search and I found a a Blog that has a ton of them so I thought I would share them with you all.  http://www.bipolar-lives.com/movies-about-bipolar-disorder.html

Bipolar and Excessive Spending

Here is a little  help  for  people  who  during  their  manic episodes, go  on  an  excessive  spending.  I  my  self  have  a huge  problem  with  that. I  spend  and then  I  feel like  the  lowest  person  on the  planet.

http://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-excessive-spending.html


With Crazy  Love 
Felisha 

Come on

Do you  ever  feel like  you  are  completely  alone   in  a  room that  is  full of  people . It's not  that  I  have  a problem with them  I   just  feel so  alone . I  am  trying  to  keep my  hands  from  shaking  and want  to  clean  and  do something .God I  am  starting to  scratch my head  aaaaaaaahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahah, sorry  burst  of  energy.

Okay  so   here is something  that  we  can  talk  about .  People  who  do not  like of change  so scared  that  you  wont  let  things  go and  we  all became  internet hoarders  with  old  websites and  favorite sites  that  we have  had  since  13 , even  though  we  don"t  look at  them anymore .Why  can't  we  give  it  up. You  know  I  was  just  going  to  delete my  Myspace but then  I 'm  like  wait  my  cousin  is  only  uses it.  Damn it  I  just  can't let go  can  I .

rrrrrrrrrrrr I  am  so  frustrated  now.  My rant  which makes  no sense  

Now  I  don't  want  to  do  anything . God I  hate this  illness  sometimes,  wait all the  time. 

Tips for living with a Bipolar partner.

Right  now  I  want  to  scream  my  head  of  and  say  Fuck it.  But  I  know  that would not  be the  best course of action. So  insted  I  am trying  out  ways  to  clam my  slef.


1. deep breathing
2.Playing  a  game( however  that is not  helping  only making me  more frustrated.)
3. Blogging( that  seems  to  help ) 


So ya not  very  helpful  but  here  are  a  few things  that  may help  you and your partner  before  you  both  take off on that  Manic roller-coaster ride  from  hell. 

Tips for living with a Bipolar partner

I  hope  you  can  get  some incite   here and  comfort.


With  crazy  Love Felisha 

Really for Real

So  Ya  I think  I  just  wound  up erasing  what  I  wrote. Why  does  this  happen  ya  I  know I  sound  like  I  am complaing  but  it  is  like the  littlest thing  sets my  illness in  to  motion. Like  last  night  i  spent  money that  I do  not  have  and  I  don't remember  even  doing  it . Some times  I  just  want  to  scream

Is today like any other

So  I  tell you  what, today  is the  first  day  of my  classes and  I  have  to  do  this check in thing  and I  can  not  find on  the  web page at all. Last  semester  they  had  it  front  and  center now it  is  like  an easter  egg hunt. This  is so not  helping  my  mood  But hey  The Lord of the  Rings   so  I  should  be  happy  right. But  the  LU site is  just  angering  me. 


I think  I want  to  go to  Soulful Cup  today  and  just  suck on their  internet  and  drink amazing  coffee.

With Crazy  Love  Bipolar115

Fish Oil Found To Ease Manic Depression - US Study - HealthyPlace

Fish Oil Found To Ease Manic Depression - US Study - HealthyPlace

I have a friend who suffers from Bp and was telling me about Fish oil and other Herbs that help and ones that do not.

I told her I was taking St. Johns wart and she then told me because it is a natural antidepressant it makes the other meds I am taking not work. So I think it is best to look stuff up before you get your self into the same pickle I did.

My Bipolar friend

Another great place to get Support and Info My Bipolar friend

Just some pics of what i think Bipolar looks like to people

Here we go again

So the new  meds  have  not  kicked in  and  I  am  still awake as always. Maybe  I  should talk  to  my  head  Doc  about  all this ,  But  it  seems every time  I  try to they  don't  get  it. Does that  happen to  any of  you ?

Okay  first  I  want  to  say  that  if  you  read my  blogs   you may  find spelling  mistakes , That  is  because  I  am  what  many  call Dyslexia, I  had  to  look  up  how  to  spell it. lol So  why  am I  doing  this, one because  I  think  it  may  help people  and  also  talking  about  what  is  going  on  in my  life   will help me and my illness.

I  guess one  could say  I  have  messed  up  since  I was  13, I  developed Post-traumatic stress  disorder also known as  PTSD.  That came  about  when  I  saw  an  old man killed  by  a  drunk  driver.   By  14  I  had full blown Depression  , At  16   I  started  cutting  and  by  18  I  took my  first  trip  into  the  hospital.  Then  at  21  I  was  diagnosed  with  Bipolar and   and  this past  year  I  have been in  and  out  of  the    hospital.  And  so  now  along  with  the  Bipolar  I  am  seeing  and  hearing and  feeling  things.


So  this blog  is the  trials and tribulations and  triumphs.


with crazy  love  Bipolar115